Few days go by that I don't wonder if I'm making the right decision to have this surgery. I'm not scared so much by the operation and recovery, but I am terrified that I'm somehow going to be worse off.
Dr. Mayo told me that it's "not likely" that I'll be 100 percent pain free after the PAO. So what does that mean? Will the pain afterward be worse than what I'm feeling now? The sucky part is that the only way to know is to have the surgery.
I do know that the pain I feel now is only going to get worse as I age. I also know in my head that this is the best time for me to go through with it: I have family to help me during recovery; I don't have any kids to take care of; I can take lots of time off my job (paid). Still, I spend lots of time wondering if my quality of life is going to be better afterward.
My goal is to go into surgery free of doubt and with the most optimistic outlook possible. Doing so will make recovery easier and faster, I think.
I have three months and 10 days to get to that point.