My freak out moment is over, thank god. I really struggled for a few days. As it is, I'm not good at making decisions; one this big really stressed me out. I'm not sure how it happened, but at one point in my near hysteria, I felt a wave of calm and knew I was ready for surgery.
And thank god for the online support group (even though it sparked my fear to begin with). Hip sister Wendy wrote in with the wisest of words: I needed to make my decision based on what I wanted, not what I feared.
I want to walk down the street without thinking about my hips. I want to stand tall and not have to hide my limp. I want to take a walk with friends without worrying if I'll be able to go the distance. I want my life back.
I know I won't question the surgery again. I'm lucky for the chance to fix what genetics messed up!
Thanks to those of you who offered unbiased advice and a kind word. My gratitude to my mom and sister is endless; I couldn't do this without them!