Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Breakdown

Having been through this process before, there have been no surprises in the planning stages. I'm mentally prepared and know what to expect.

So it was unexpected that I had an emotional breakdown tonight.

I've felt the stress building for a couple of days ... packing, saying goodbye to friends, having my last gym and Body Jam sessions. A few minutes ago, like it or not, it was time to just let it take over. Feeling scared and sad, I cried for about five minutes, but I think things will get better from here.

No matter how tough you are -- or think you are -- a PAO is no picnic, even if you've done it before. I accept that it got to me and am glad I let myself cry over it. Now I can move forward and work on being strong again.

Four days to go.

3 comments:

abnacy said...

I hear ya, Cass. I did that quite a bit beforehand, but took your advice and danced around and did what I could holding my daughter to take advantage of that freedom.
You're gonna do so well having been through it before. But, its not fun. Can't wait to talk to you on the other side :)

-Acy

Lauren said...

Cass
I can only imagine how you're feeling. When my left leg started to hurt (about a month ago) I had a small break down myself. I think it's the fact that when your first op leg is back to being strong and the surgery is behind you all you want to do is live. The thought of going through the whole process again is just a downer, not that we can't do it but because we have to do it.
You're a tough woman and we all know you'll come through with flying colors. So when you feel sad cry and know that once this is behind you there is no stopping you. And thank goodness we don't have 3 or 4 legs!
Speak to you on the other side.
Lauren

AKM said...

Good luck! I'm just starting my journey so you are an inspiration.

AKM
http://hipfix.blogspot.com