Hip-hop anonymous - a PAO journal

No lunges and no squats. That's the infamous "doctor's orders" I was given. The thing is, I just don't plain like the doctor's orders. See, I've found a new love, which requires movements that mimic the lunge and squat. The new love? BodyPump . The lunge and squat-type movement? Lunges and squats. BodyPump is a one-hour class in which you do 60-100 reps of weight in a two-three minute span on the following body parts: Chest, back, biceps, triceps, shoulders, hamstrings, quads and gluts. It's completely intense, and I'm toning my entire body. My legs (especially the latest op side) are still weak post surgery. I'm not pushing myself on the lunges and squats, but I think it's important to try to get my strength back. I'm tired of the hamstring curl and leg extension machines, so I'm giving this a shot, rebel that I am.

Today I went to a baby shower for my good friend, Sarah. Among other things, we talked about babies, go figure. Baby names, baby gear, baby this and baby that. My thoughts turned to my hips. My friend Adrienne and I (the only unmarried ladies in the group) spoke of how more and more women were having kids later in life. I admitted that I was scared that my hips might not hold up that long. Since I've learned of my dysplasia (age 27) I've wondered about carrying and delivering children. Will I be able to do it? Will it affect my PAOs? Will it cause early deterioration? At my appointment with my surgeon in May, I asked -- and he answered -- that my birthing canal wasn't affected by the surgeries. Good news, of course. However, I wonder. There's not much data out tying obstetrics and orthopedics, especially PAOs. Each specialty knows an infinite amount about itself, but not much about the other. I guess only time will tell if I will end up being a mother, and if my hips wi...

Many nights, I wake suddenly as fear rushes through my body. Simultaneously, I feel relief. The dream that woke me was simply that -- a dream -- and I am not having another surgery. Anymore, I don't often think about my hips during the day. But at night, thoughts and fears creep through my subconscious and into my dreams. In them, I usually am getting prepped for surgery, awaiting the masked faces that will roll me to the cold operating room. Sometimes, I'm through surgery, with no one to help me to my crutches. Truth is, I'm still scared of both. What I hate worst about my future is the near certainty that I'll need more hip surgeries, coupled with the possibility that I may have no one to help me through them. Before dysplasia and PAOs, I didn't think twice about being alone. Now, I'm terrified, and I hope I make the right decisions down the road so I can find and keep the people in my life who will be able to help me. Sweet dreams.