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Indescribable feelings

My world turned right side up this morning.

Though I missed the phone call, Dr. Mayo left me a message, saying my x-rays and follow-up report looked good and that I was cleared to start physical therapy and weight bearing.

I don't know when the tears started, but I'm pretty sure it was very shortly after I finished listening to the message. Sitting on the edge of my bed, everything was quiet at first. I wasted no time and stood up. I started by transferring the weight from my right leg slowly over to my left and waited for the pain.

There was none.

I started to move my leg forward, and for a small moment, got a little scared and nervous. A couple of deep breaths later, I took a step for the first time in almost nine weeks. No pain here, either, and relief flooded me as tears of joy, anticipation, optimism and gratefulness streamed down my face. I grabbed one crutch -- just in case -- and proceeded to walk across my apartment.

Physically, there was no pain sans a little soreness in the joint after I had taken about a dozen steps. My leg was trembling from weakness and it felt awkward to be taking steps, but I felt like a rock star.

Mentally, my mind was swimming. I'm tearing up even as I write this. How can I explain such wonderful relief? A moment that I've thought about since October. A moment that required enormous emotional strength and physical sacrifice. A moment that allows me to think of millions of more moments with pain-free hips and an active, happy life.

I am overwhelmed with emotion. I will never forget these indescribable feelings.


Amanda said…
Thanks for making me cry so early in the day! :P

I can only imagine what it feels like to be getting your life back after such a long journey. One small step can do so damn much for your soul.

We should do lunch or dinner one of these days now that you are back in the Fort. Reba is back from baby leave, so maybe we can grab her and Erin and go to Coops for some pizza and beer.

Miss you!

Anonymous said…
Great news Cassie! I'm so very happy for you. I can't wait to read your next posts as you venture into the world on two good hips. I'm so excited!
Jamie said…
Yea! So glad to hear you were up and walking! Awesome! Take it easy and let me know how it goes! Love you sis!
So happy for you!!

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