The things they carried
It's a delicate song and dance routine, attempting to carry items of importance while both hands and arms are occupied with crutches.
At this point, I could make it on Broadway.
Though today, I had a wardrobe malfunction. While helping my mom with chores, I felt something odd in my shirt. I reached up, fished around a bit, and found the socks I had put there five hours earlier. Then I laughed so hard I snorted.
I've learned to shove things in my shirt and my waistband (don't ask about the notorious carrots and soda incident), lug stuff over my shoulder and back, grip small items in my hand, carry even smaller things in my mouth. I'm sure I resemble a chipmunk at times. A singing and dancing chipmunk. :)
Of course, there are things a person can't perform while in the act of crutching. Among the most annoying: getting the hair out of my face, taking my sunglasses off, itching, carrying anything heavier than 10 pounds, and opening heavy doors.
Soon, my crutching days will be over, so I'm soaking up the joys of finding lost items in my clothing and entertaining others with my super "carrying while crutching" abilities. Practice hard, and this skill, too, could be yours.
At this point, I could make it on Broadway.
Though today, I had a wardrobe malfunction. While helping my mom with chores, I felt something odd in my shirt. I reached up, fished around a bit, and found the socks I had put there five hours earlier. Then I laughed so hard I snorted.
I've learned to shove things in my shirt and my waistband (don't ask about the notorious carrots and soda incident), lug stuff over my shoulder and back, grip small items in my hand, carry even smaller things in my mouth. I'm sure I resemble a chipmunk at times. A singing and dancing chipmunk. :)
Of course, there are things a person can't perform while in the act of crutching. Among the most annoying: getting the hair out of my face, taking my sunglasses off, itching, carrying anything heavier than 10 pounds, and opening heavy doors.
Soon, my crutching days will be over, so I'm soaking up the joys of finding lost items in my clothing and entertaining others with my super "carrying while crutching" abilities. Practice hard, and this skill, too, could be yours.
Comments
Just think of how easier zumba is gonna be with this newfound dexterity! It will pay off, I promise!
Big hugs,
Manda
best,
Laura
You are dead on about wanting to get back to my own apartment and my own life. I feel like I am living in some parallel universe where I never left my parents house after HS!
I scared myself one day when I was home by myself and something loud hit the tile floor right behind me. It was my cell phone -- I had stuck it in my wasteband and forgotten it. I thought someone was after me!
Have you ever managed this one: carry something in one hand while holding your crutch under your armpit and swinging it as you walk with your other crutch supporting you? It's hard to explain, but even harder to pull off successfully. I've managed to lose a crutch -- or even worse, my balance -- while attempting this one. Luckily, I'm down to one crutch now and have been a busy little beaver getting things done around the house now that I have a free hand.
PS, sorry to hear about your miserable tailbone.
Michelle, I hate to brag, but I've become pretty awesome at the "swinging the crutch with your armpit" trick. I do it a dozen times a day, though I almost lost my crutch once and almost fell over once. Must be careful!
I did notice that you forgot a couple things on your list .... like....
*trying to use an umbrella
*you must stop walking in order to itch yourself
Oh and do be careful about carrying your laptop in your waistband. Haha, if it's a heavy laptop, you'll not want anyone around while you're carrying it.:)
"Swing on your armpit gait" is wonderful and it's so handy, but it does make your armpits hurt after a couple of trips carrying stuff from one room to another! :)
-D, I've did the exact same thing with my grilled cheese sandwich last month! :)
Waistbands are the best things ever invented! :)