Dreams
I still have bad dreams about having hip surgeries.
It's been nine years since I went under the knife. The surgeries seem far from mind – I don't have daily pain, I don't talk about hip dysplasia, and when I get undressed, I rarely notice the thin white scars on either side of my hips.
When I do think about it all, gratitude and pride overwhelm me. I think of my recovery and wonderful life that has followed. It's strange then, that my brain sums up this life-changing event with disturbing scenes from an operating room, flooding me with anxiety and reminding me of the unpleasant parts of PAOs.
But maybe the nightmares have some value, after all. Being reminded of the stress and pain and work that went into fixing my hips also reminds me of how strong I was to get through it.
Never forget.
It's been nine years since I went under the knife. The surgeries seem far from mind – I don't have daily pain, I don't talk about hip dysplasia, and when I get undressed, I rarely notice the thin white scars on either side of my hips.
When I do think about it all, gratitude and pride overwhelm me. I think of my recovery and wonderful life that has followed. It's strange then, that my brain sums up this life-changing event with disturbing scenes from an operating room, flooding me with anxiety and reminding me of the unpleasant parts of PAOs.
But maybe the nightmares have some value, after all. Being reminded of the stress and pain and work that went into fixing my hips also reminds me of how strong I was to get through it.
Never forget.
Comments
I sometimes question if I am too old to recover from something like this. I worry about whether it will fix the pain-which honestly most of my pain has just been from the torn labrum, nothing much other than popping and cracking of my hips-both, or will I be trading one pain for another pain. I worry about the numbness or nerve damage. I am comforted to see yours went so well and that you write about it this many years later and have a good story to tell. I sometimes feel like life has just halted and things will never be the same. I know, through reading these stories that some turn out like you. And that gives me hope. Thank you.