Hip-hop anonymous - a PAO journal

My second PAO is long since over. But the bills may never stop. Just this week, I got insurance paperwork and a bill in the mail for the CPM machine I used almost one year ago. One year. I swear I don't know what I've paid for and what I haven't. And I'm pretty darn sure the health insurance company, hospital, clinics and equipment companies don't have a clue either. But one year later? Please. End rant.

No lunges and no squats. That's the infamous "doctor's orders" I was given. The thing is, I just don't plain like the doctor's orders. See, I've found a new love, which requires movements that mimic the lunge and squat. The new love? BodyPump . The lunge and squat-type movement? Lunges and squats. BodyPump is a one-hour class in which you do 60-100 reps of weight in a two-three minute span on the following body parts: Chest, back, biceps, triceps, shoulders, hamstrings, quads and gluts. It's completely intense, and I'm toning my entire body. My legs (especially the latest op side) are still weak post surgery. I'm not pushing myself on the lunges and squats, but I think it's important to try to get my strength back. I'm tired of the hamstring curl and leg extension machines, so I'm giving this a shot, rebel that I am.

Today I went to a baby shower for my good friend, Sarah. Among other things, we talked about babies, go figure. Baby names, baby gear, baby this and baby that. My thoughts turned to my hips. My friend Adrienne and I (the only unmarried ladies in the group) spoke of how more and more women were having kids later in life. I admitted that I was scared that my hips might not hold up that long. Since I've learned of my dysplasia (age 27) I've wondered about carrying and delivering children. Will I be able to do it? Will it affect my PAOs? Will it cause early deterioration? At my appointment with my surgeon in May, I asked -- and he answered -- that my birthing canal wasn't affected by the surgeries. Good news, of course. However, I wonder. There's not much data out tying obstetrics and orthopedics, especially PAOs. Each specialty knows an infinite amount about itself, but not much about the other. I guess only time will tell if I will end up being a mother, and if my hips wi...

Many nights, I wake suddenly as fear rushes through my body. Simultaneously, I feel relief. The dream that woke me was simply that -- a dream -- and I am not having another surgery. Anymore, I don't often think about my hips during the day. But at night, thoughts and fears creep through my subconscious and into my dreams. In them, I usually am getting prepped for surgery, awaiting the masked faces that will roll me to the cold operating room. Sometimes, I'm through surgery, with no one to help me to my crutches. Truth is, I'm still scared of both. What I hate worst about my future is the near certainty that I'll need more hip surgeries, coupled with the possibility that I may have no one to help me through them. Before dysplasia and PAOs, I didn't think twice about being alone. Now, I'm terrified, and I hope I make the right decisions down the road so I can find and keep the people in my life who will be able to help me. Sweet dreams.

... and I held together pretty well! Last weekend, I put my hips to the test, hiking more than 10 miles in a new natural area. The first trail was mostly flat, with a few deep coulees. The second trail was up, up, up and then down, down, down. Around mile 6, my left hip started to ache pretty badly. I made the last mile to the end and was able to sit for a while. By the time I started the second trail, the pain was gone. And that was the only problem I had. I used to feel terrified that I won't be able to make it back when I walked only a few blocks. Now, though I have random pains, I know the actual hip dysplasia pain isn't going to keep me from a few blocks ... or a few miles. Happy girl.

Sporadic. That's my right hip. At nine months post-op, each day seems to be different. This hip has behaved much differently than the left side, and honestly, some days I want to send it to its room. Some days, like today and yesterday, I have enough soreness that I almost limp. Oh, who am I kidding? ... I limp. My Captain Morgan problem is magnified and it even hurts to lie on my stomach or the right side. Other days, I feel no pain, and Captain Morgan only shows up when I'm really lifting my leg while bending the knee. As for the rest: Numbness remaining: about 20 percent still numb in spots. (Much better than left side.) Deep itching/stabbing sensation comes and goes. About one instance per month. Clicking every so often. (I hardly notice.) Scar is still healing. I hardly pay attention to these anymore, so I really can't say how it looks. Plenty of pain on certain days in the front of the hip above my thigh. It's a burning sensation, unlike most other "hip dyspl...

Sam, Sarah, Lauren, Laura, Beth, Marina, Jennie, Rachel, Shelley, Terri, Stacey, Brenna, Kirsten, Christine, Carly, Brandie and so many others ... I miss my Hip Sisters. Having a PAO meant letting go of this disability of mine. In the process, I've also lost touch with the women who encouraged, understood and supported me. I've hardly kept up with my girls, though I think of them very often. The surgery has come and gone, and so has my subsequent need for this connection. I apologize for not being there to return the favor for some of you. Without these sensational women, I wouldn't have had a PAO and changed my life. I wouldn't have had the information I needed going into the surgeries and I wouldn't have known how to cope with this whole thing from the beginning till now. (Is there ever an end?) I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you and how you've enriched my life. I'm sorry if I didn't mention you by name; if you've ever writ...

In my last post, I mentioned my "terribly crooked tailbone." My last doctor and I looked at at pre- and post-op x-rays, which showed my tailbone pulling sharply to my left. Though we initially thought the surgery had caused the shift, the pre-op x-rays showed the same thing. Seems hip dysplasia was not my only problem; the construction of my entire pelvic region has been wacky from the start. The doctor is certain, however, that the PAO caused an unnatural pull on the muscles/tendons/ligaments from the tailbone to the hip area, triggering the pain I've been feeling. It may get better with time; it may not. I do not regret having my PAOs. I do want to note, though, that experts are still gathering information about long-term success of this surgery, which began in Switzerland in 1984. I am not a doctor, and I am not an expert in this subject. But I do feel that unexpected side effects (like tailbone pain) are more common than these top-notch surgeons are currently taking ...

On July 10, I had a procedure for my tailbone pain. The official term: caudal epidural steroid injection. The casual term: pants down here's a needle. Basically, the doctor places a needle into the space between the sacrum and tailbone and injects the steroid, which affects the spinal nerves. The purpose of the injection is twofold: 1) if it provides pain relief, it shows that area is the source of the problem. 2) if it provides pain relief, it provides pain relief. :) Anyway, the procedure was a little painful, and I had some minor reactions to the steroid (flushing, sleeplessness, soreness at the injection site). Since then, I've had no relief from the initial pain, I'm sorry to say. I'm glad I gave it a shot (pun intended) and am considering my options. Unfortunately, the last doctor I saw said the chances of losing the pain were slim since my tailbone is so terribly crooked. The next step is "manual therapy," in which a doctor massages the muscles around t...

My absence has been noted. Which is enough to guilt me into taking the extra minutes out of my day to report on my status. On May 12, I had a follow-up appointment with my surgeon, Dr. Mayo. Two new sets of X-rays (and who knows how much radiation) later, I got two thumbs up for pelvic bone healing. As far as the other issues I'm having, I didn't get any concrete answers. Dr. Mayo was very clear, however in saying -- as he has in the past -- that I will never have completely pain free hips. I've learned to accept that fact, mostly because experience has proven he's right. This is what we talked about: Right hip burning in the "Captain Morgan" position. No progress has been made here, and Dr. Mayo said the culprit likely was the iliopsoas (ill-e-o-so-az) and the rectus femoris (one of the quad muscles). He put me on Celebrex for a month, with no change. Next step would be an injection into the muscle, but I'm not ready for that yet. Tailbone. T...